No. 2: The Little Mermaid Made My Belly Button Bleed
And other stories!
After a surgery not unlike that magic trick where a magician saws an audience participant in half, I’m back! With a hip-to-hip incision to prove it! A couple of weeks ago, I had DIEP flap breast reconstruction where they take your stomach and turn it into breasts. I even got a new belly button in the process. Science fiction shit! Medical, medical, amazing!
I’m recovering well, so much so that the week after surgery I hobbled into an AMC to see The Little Mermaid. Pretty good for post- being cut in half. I thought Halle Bailey was fantastic, but the storyline? I guess I had blacked out and forgotten the entire plot of this movie when I agreed to go see it. It was awful. Giving up your voice for a man, PLEASE. Melissa McCarthy couldn’t even save this one. At the one-hour mark, my aforementioned new belly button started to bleed, and I thought “Well, time to wrap it up here”.
So, I hobbled right back out of that AMC, proud to be exiting on my own two feet, with the knowledge that this might be the only time in my life I can say that something was so bad it made my belly button bleed.
Better things have come along since…
Three things that made me laugh this week:
Three things I’m watching this week:
Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret (for the fourth time. I’m in my Judy Blume era twenty years late)
What Happened, Miss Simone?
The Other Two
Thanks for being here, friends! Love, Emily
In the original story by Hans Christian Andersen not only does she sacrifice her voice for a man but every step she takes on her human feet is like walking on sharp razor blades and in the end the prince chooses the other woman (its not actually the witch in the story) her sisters try and help her by striking a deal with the aforementioned wich, they take the little mermaid a knife and tell her that if she murders the treacherous man she will be restored to the undersea... But she is kind hearted and lets him live for which she is rewarded by being turned to seafoam.
Yup it sucks.
From the trailers my opinion of The Little Mermaid was that it look both BEAUTIFUL and BAD. Thanks for confirming both of these thoughts. I won't be seeing it in theaters - really don't want a bloody belly button.